How Gender, Loss Circumstances, and Birth Order Shape Sibling Mourning after October 7th

How Gender, Loss Circumstances, and Birth Order Shape Sibling Mourning after October 7th
9th October 2024 Moriah Aharon

This research examines the emotional distress, negative thoughts, and coping strategies of adults who lost a sibling during the tragic events of October 7, 2023, focusing on how gender, birth order, and the circumstances of the loss influence their grief. Conducted by M.A. student Masada Buchris at Hebrew University, the study found that women experience higher distress and use more coping strategies, while birth order had no significant impact, and those who lost siblings in the security forces reported higher negative self-thoughts. The findings underscore the often-overlooked grief of bereaved siblings and have broader implications for recognising and supporting sibling grief in both national tragedies and personal losses worldwide, advocating for tailored interventions to address this unique form of mourning.

On the anniversary of the tragic events of October 7, 2023, a new study has been presented, shedding light on the emotional toll and unique challenges faced by bereaved siblings. Conducted by M.A. student Masada Buchris for her thesis under the supervision of Professor Anat Zaira at Hebrew University, the research, titled “The Echoes of Mourning: Gender, Birth Order, and Circumstances of Loss in the Events of October 7, 2023,” explores the grief experienced by adults who lost a sibling in these traumatic events. The study examines how gender, birth order, and the circumstances of the loss influence distress levels, coping mechanisms, and overall emotional well-being.

Background and Scope
While past research has primarily focused on parents who lose children or individuals who experience sibling loss during childhood, the loss of a sibling in adulthood has largely been overlooked. This may stem from the concept of ‘unrecognised grief,’ where the mourning process of siblings often goes unacknowledged. In an effort to fill this research gap, this study focuses on bereaved siblings of those who perished on October 7, 2023, examining their emotional distress, negative thought patterns, and coping strategies.

The research aimed to explore the relationships between three key factors—gender, birth order, and the circumstances surrounding the loss—and their impact on grief responses. The study gathered data from 444 participants (68.4% women) aged 31.87 years on average, using various psychological scales to assess emotional distress, negative thoughts, and coping mechanisms.

Key Findings

  1. Gender Differences in Grief Responses: Women were found to experience higher levels of emotional distress, greater use of coping strategies such as seeking social and spiritual support, and more negative thoughts compared to men. However, women also exhibited higher levels of hostility, with no significant gender differences in thoughts about the self, life, or future.
  2. Impact of Birth Order: Contrary to initial hypotheses, no significant differences were observed between those who lost older siblings and those who lost siblings of other birth orders.
  3. Circumstances of Loss: Unexpectedly, individuals who lost a sibling serving in the security forces reported higher levels of negative thoughts about themselves than those who lost a civilian sibling.
  4. Coping Strategies and Emotional Distress: Positive correlations were found between emotional distress and negative thoughts. Coping strategies such as seeking help, maintaining connections with the deceased, and compassion were associated with higher levels of distress in some cases, while an optimistic perception and spiritual support were linked to lower distress and negative thoughts.

Implications and Future Research
The study’s findings highlight the significant emotional burden shouldered by bereaved siblings, challenging the notion that sibling loss is less impactful than other forms of loss. The research also underscores the importance of recognising the unique needs of this group, who may not receive adequate support due to their status as ‘just’ siblings.

In light of these findings, the study calls for both policy and practice-level interventions aimed at addressing the specific challenges faced by bereaved siblings. Future research should continue to explore sibling dynamics, family relationships post-loss, and the ongoing effects of conflict on those left behind.

This study represents a significant contribution to the understanding of sibling loss and grief, particularly in the context of national tragedy. By recognising the complexity of sibling mourning and advocating for tailored interventions, this research lays the groundwork for future studies on the long-term effects of sudden, tragic loss on family dynamics and the grieving process.

A Personal Perspective
Presenter Masada Buchris, whose personal experience as a nurse and a bereaved sibling inspired this study, noted, “This research is deeply personal for me. Losing my sibling on October 7th was a life-altering event, and it became clear that many bereaved siblings face ‘unrecognised grief.’ This study is the first step towards understanding the profound consequences of such a loss and ensuring that siblings receive the support they need.”


The Hebrew University of Jerusalem is Israel’s premier academic and research institution. With over 23,000 students from 90 countries, it is a hub for advancing scientific knowledge and holds a significant role in Israel’s civilian scientific research output, accounting for nearly 40% of it and has registered over 11,000 patents. The university’s faculty and alumni have earned eight Nobel Prizes, two Turing Awards a Fields Medal, underscoring their contributions to ground-breaking discoveries. In the global arena, the Hebrew University ranks 81st according to the Shanghai Ranking. To learn more about the university’s academic programs, research initiatives, and achievements, visit the official website at http://new.huji.ac.il/en